by Arit Okpo
Woke up feeling grey… Spirit itchy… upset and not sure why. I take the time to think through it and realise my spirit is chafing a bit. Realise that I am again circulating my life around others, and of course, that is not who I am.
I am connecting with the thought that I sacrifice a lot of my personal independence, my sense of self, my innate rightness.
I am used to shrinking, to being the one who makes space. I am used to stepping back so that others can shine, but that is not what I am here to do. I am grateful for the discomfort that reminds me that I am trying to shrink into spaces that I have outgrown.
I choose again not to allow myself be defined by others – because people tend to define others according to the parameters that they are familiar and comfortable with – whether or not they fit. I reject the definitions that do not empower me or resonate with me.
I am so used to being a moon, I am grateful to be reminded yet again that I am indeed, a glorious, blazing sun.
I am grateful for it all.
PS: Culled from my journal entry of January 2019.
*Arit Okpo is the Host of CNN African Voices and TIERS Untold Facts. She is a Child of Grace, A Lover of People and an Unrepentant Lover of food.