Why are we struggling with unrequited love?

Almost every single one had experienced this, crushing on someone secretly for months or years or that friend you love, and you are not getting your feelings returned; a long-time relationship that turns out the feelings is not the same. A few got friendzone, denied, and all boils down to the same thing – rejection. Then you start dealing with the harsh truth of your love not been returned. Although some might sweep the feeling under the carpet, some cannot even help it and results in extreme depression or suicide. 

And so, here is the question — why do we find it difficult to move and accept that our feelings might not always be returned? Why do we choose to keep getting hurt when we know that we can let go? Choosing to do the same things and expecting different results? How do we fail to accept the outcome and embrace new possibilities life wants to offer us? 

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If you’re hurting now or struggling in the past, you should take your time to read this, although there seem to be general guides everywhere on how love works, one size doesn’t fit when it comes to love.

These five main possibilities are worth considering: 

1. You think you can make the other person see how perfect you are for them, buy them gifts, show how much you want them, and hope they would reciprocate.

Love is not like this — the more we try to persuade, plead, and make them see reasons why you should be together, compatibility, the further we push them away. It’s manipulative to demand that anyone feel the same way you feel for them.

2. You think he/she is your significant other

If he or she is really for you, you would not need to persuade them to love you. Love comes willingly without much persuasion or plea. You can take different things with force, but love doesn’t work that way.

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3. The other person gives you a mixed-signal 

There is a possibility that you are not entirely to blame for how you feel. The other person could give you a reason to believe things are going to change. Maybe there are times when they show signs of loving you and then deny it later, and then you find yourself trying to understand their intentions.

Whatever scenario they are painting gives you hope, remember the brutal truth — people who want you don’t make it hard. If you find yourself trying to deduce how someone feels about you, walk away. Know your value, and don’t negotiate the importance of it. 

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4. You’re scared of what you’re going to lose. 

Ask yourself, if this person vanished from my life, what’s going to change? Be truthful to yourself, no matter how difficult your answers are.  

Once you know this, start thinking of ways to make things right for yourself. Failure to address this makes it extremely difficult to let go. 

5. You scared of what people would say.

You probably have been the on keeping the relationship going, and now you cannot get out because you fear what people would say, how they would react. Be aware that if you do not get out, these people will blame you. So, do what makes you happy.

Discovering all these, take responsibility, try new things to free your mind, and do not wallow in your misery, although it might take you will get out if you try.

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